Ok, so this post is something that may cause my male followers to blush. (But let’s be honest, I don’t have THAT many male followers, so y’all can just deal with it and read on).
Not to get too personal, but my last Pap test came back a little weird, so after one really uncomfortable follow up visit to get my cervix scraped (Ouch! Yes, it hurts, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise) my Doctor tells me that he is going to freeze my cervix.
Never one to freak out at a medical procedure, I decided that the first appointment of the day should be a good time to get frozen. I figure I’ll be defrosted in time for my car pick up line duties.
Never being frozen before I was a bit curious. A few days before the procedure I call the office and ask if there is anything I needed to do to be prepared? The nurse bluntly said “they are freezing you – it’s going to be cold.” Thanks for the words of wisdom lady. I promptly dug out my snow boots, hats and mittens, popped a few Extra Strength Motrin and headed off for my trip to the tundra.
Entering the OB exam room used to be a bit scary for me. Now, after delivering a baby and being scraped, prodded and needled I feel quite at home in the white paper gown and stir ups. I prop open my book and start passing away the time, when all of a sudden the nurse comes in with a rusted blue gas tank attached to some long tubes. I glance down at this formidable foe covered in stickers saying things like “Gas cut off” “pressure gauge”, and “flammable”. With a keen eye on the little tank, my ski cap on, I am ready for this battle.
It can be a bit awkward talking to your OB, especially while laying down, legs up and getting frozen. I have to give my Doc credit, he has a great bedside manner and we chat away about our weekend while he’s inventing a new south pole in my nether regions. We are reminiscing about this and that when all of a sudden he takes a phone call. (Ok, to his credit, apparently being frozen is like playing hockey, 3 minutes on ice, 3 minutes off, 3 minutes back on ice). So, during the three minute time out Doc takes a phone call. Since he was on a 3 minute countdown clock he told his caller that he couldn’t talk right now stating “I’m in the middle of something, no literally, I’m in the middle of something.” UGH!?! Doctor did you just say that? Talk about embarrassing. His nurse and I busted out laughing and we continued on to our next 3 minutes of freeze, moving on to talking about boyfriends, dates and ex-husbands. (That will be a Blog for another day)
All in all my frozen experience was not that bad. I’m feeling fine and don’t need to go back for a few months. I was planning on meeting a friend today and trying to figure out what a good time was. I told her I was waiting on my cervix to defrost; she suggested it defrosts per pound….
question 1: is that the actual tank? or just stock footage? cause I'm not letting that thing NEAR me. question 2: doctor's take phone calls during procedures? totally odd. hope there's no camera phone. and lastly, not a question, but a comment: I cannot believe i just read that you were waiting for your cervix to defrost. I am traumatized.
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