Throwback Thursday

 

I was on the phone the other day and a friend said “I really like that Throwback picture of you and your little man.”  I was ready to make my standard witty come back  about how skinny I was, or how good my arms looked or how tan I was back then.  But then it hit me, like a huge block was just dropped on my head and told me to wake up and stop thinking about the way things used to be.

 

Yes, I looked damn good back then.  I was skinny, the skinniest I have ever been.  It is one of the pictures people tell you to tape to your refridgerator door for inspiration, as if seeing yourself skinny is going to take away the craving for ice cream and a beer.  (Sorry to say, but NO picture in the world will ever replace my love of ice cream).

In the briefest moment of complimenting my picture I had a revelation.  I am not that person any more.   I am so much better. 

That skinny version of myself was young and new at being a mommy. I was unsure of myself, my body, my parenting skills,  my career.    Today,  here is no way I would fit into those pants, or even try on that shirt (why set yourself up for failure?)    My arms are thicker, but they are also stronger.  I have been able to play with my little man for 8 more years and have developed muscles that help me lift him up when he falls down, throw a football and lug a surfboard, cooler and beach chair to the ocean.  My legs are stronger, not from the gym, but from running mile after mile catching up with him on a skateboard.  My butt is definitely rounder than it used to.  Maybe it is from sitting on my behind for endless hours of baseball tournaments?  And my stomach is certainly not flat anymore, but that is because I discovered the benefits of sitting with girlfriends and catching up over a bottle or two of good wine.

I am not bashing throw back Thursday and my photos.  I love looking back and remembering fun times.  I am realizing how amazing my life has turned out to be.  Maybe I should start a new trend “Love Yourself Friday”?   Because for right now I am not going to wish I looked like I used to, or feel sad that my favorite size 6 pants don’t fit.  I am happy to embrace my version of myself and celebrate how far I have come.

 

Sorority Life

The other morning I was texting with 2 of my Sorority Sisters.  My little man asked me who I was texting.  I told him that it was Aunt Katy and Aunt Jess.  He looked confused (as I only have one biological sister). 

I told him that we were sorority sisters and again he had a puzzled look on his face.  “What IS that Mom?” he asked.    Well, I said Mommy had a lot of friends in college and all of the girls were in a Sorority.  We lived in a house and had a lot of fun together.  “Wow, that must be a big house!” he said.

Yes, I told him, we had a big house, and a house mom who made sure the house was taken care of and cooked for us and we all had meals together.   “Whoa!” he said.  “I want one of those!”

I just sat there stunned.  (What does he think I do all day?)

I replied, Little Man you DO have one of those.  I am the MOM and that’s what I do. 

“I guess so Mom, but I really want to be in a Sorority when I go to college.”

I took a deep breathe,

replied…

let me tell you about Fraternities.

Feel like a Mom?

The other day one of those random Facebook surveys popped up on my news feed.  The question was this: “How did you know when you were a Mom?”  Ok, DUH! That is a pretty obvious question right?  I mean you KNOW you are a Mom when that little stick you pee on turns blue, or gives you two lines instead of one, or you wake up every day for a week straight and vomit, or suddenly your boobs are swollen and feel like they will explode at the slightest touch of a feather.  I mean really, this is a pretty silly poll Facebook people. 

But then I got to thinking…. You can pretty much skate by being a Mom without actually feeling like one.  (Deep thoughts by Dana) 

I guess for some people it would be the first time they see their little baby smile, or the first time they hear them utter ‘momma’ out of their little mouths, or when they walk across the room to them for the first time.  Unfortunately for me Mom memories didn’t actually happen that way.  See, I was a working Mom and had a village helping to raise my little man - we had a very loud southern Daddy and a sweet Nanny at home, all of which called me Dana.  Turns out, babies repeat what they hear.  So instead of my little man whispering ‘momma’ in a cute baby voice, he decided to call me “Anda!” (Dana mixed up) in a loud southern bellow.  And the moment he walked across the room with his hands wide open?  Yep, the Nanny got to witness that one.  I learned about it through a broken English/Spanish translation via a cell phone.  So, no – I didn’t feel like a “Mom” then either.

Some Moms know they are doing their “Mommy Work” when their little one is sick and needs help through a fever or a band aide for his first big bruise.  Well, I am very fortunate to live near my parents and have a fantastic Mom (Gogo to my little man) who has a way with bruises.  It breaks my heart a bit, but my little man prefers to spend his sick days with my Mom and get her cuddles and attention.  I love that they have a great bond and that I know he is well taken care of, but it does not leave me feeling like I’m doing that “Mommy thing”.  For some reason a band aide or ice pack from GoGo cures my little man much quicker than me and for that I am grateful.

And on and on the list goes - me wondering when the heck I knew I was a Mom? By this point I have spent a good two days pondering and it is getting to me and my mommy self -esteem.

Then it hit me! 

I knew I was a Mom this month. (Ok, my son is 7 ½, maybe I’m a late bloomer?)

My little man has been away for 3 or so weeks.  Leading up to his big trip and my spontaneous staycation I had made list after list of things I would do sans my little guy.  The list was basically this:  tan, drink with friends, try new happy hour places, go dancing, try new bars, have work happy hours, have friends come visit, go on a lot of dates, buy new clothes and so on.  It was basically a list of everything I could think of that my single non parenting friends get to enjoy.  I was stoked! I had three and half weeks to conquer the single kid-less world!  I was going to take back the old pre-mom me.  I was ready to roll!

You know what?

 I ended up not doing much of my list.  Instead of drinking the nights away talking to lame men, I went running and cooked healthy dinners.  Instead of shopping for new clothes, I got a head start on uniform shopping for the next school year.  Instead of work happy hours, I stayed at work and actually got work done.    Instead of going tanning, I decided to be healthier and cancel my tanning membership.

I guess this week I KNEW I was a mom.  I realized how much my little man means to me, and really how much I miss him.  Sure, I miss the idea of fun happy hours at bars, but I miss bike riding with my little man more.  Sure, it would be fun to spend the day at the beach tanning and drinking Coronas, but it is more fun catching the waves and building sand castles. 

So Random Facebook Poll – thank you for helping me put my life back into perspective.  It might have taken me a bit to really “KNOW” I’m a Mom.  But, thank the good Lord I am one and I can’t wait to have my little man back home!

Ways to get (and keep) a Girl's Heart

I love this photo!  It is a LIST and it has some good advice.  I have a few more of my own  to add:
13. Kiss her forehead
14. Tell your friends about her and how much you like her (in her presence gets bonus points!)
15  Smile when she walks in the room
16.  Encourage her, become her biggest fan
17.  Cook for her
18.  Eat whatever she cooks and pretend you like it
19.  Tell her she is beautiful, especially on days when she's worked really hard and is really tired
20.  Tell her she is smart
21  Surprise her with little gifts and things she likes
22  Don't send flowers - get more creative and show her you went the extra step
23   Like her family and enjoy spending time with them
24.  Be yourself