Photo Op

Not sure what message this guy is trying to relay?
 Kind of makes me want to run!

A few months ago my friend and I were both stuck at home with bad colds.  Like any single 30 something’s, our conversation found its way to dating.  My friend had recently signed up for the online dating site Plenty of Fish, her roommate was on Match.com, and I was still recovering from my stint on EHarmony.  We were debating the pros and cons of each, agreeing that the key is to put up as many filters as possible on searches as well as post a good picture.  The picture being the key to success, since let’s face it, you are online and the photo not the caption is going to get you noticed.

High on cold medicine we decided to go online and see what was out there in our dating pool.  If I didn’t know people who had found love on these sites I would have thought the pictures were fake. No kidding!  I am not sure what is going on, if it is a regional issue or a unilateral problem with the male species.  But 9 out of 10 of the pictures were of guys with no shirt on either flexing or looking at themselves in the mirror.  While I’m not a matchmaker I have to suggest to the men out there that a shirt might help.  Ladies like to be a little surprised now and then.  You can get pretty far in a dress shirt that hints at your muscles and leaves us wondering what is underneath, no need to show all of your goods up front.

The second most popular picture was that of guys holding fish.  Where in the “How To Get A Girl Manual” does it say women are turned on by a large, stinky fish?  I give these guys credit for trying to show off their sportsmanship and active outdoor lifestyle, but a dead fish? Really?

The third most popular pose was that of a guy on his motorcycle.  I get this look, you are trying to look tough, show us you have a wild side, that you love the feel of the open road.  That is all good, but maybe take your doo rag off, put down the shades, lose the leather vest and stand next to the bike?  The standard picture of a guy on his hog just leaves us wondering if you have hair and how tall you may be.

After a few hours (yes I said hours) of clicking through the endless pictures of available men online we decided that these poor fellas need some help in the picture department?   Here are a few ideas:

1.        No pictures in the bathroom and especially not in the shower.  The lighting is always bad and the mirror and angles are weird.  Stay away.

2.       While everyone loves a good hat picture, post at least one without a hat on.  We need to see your face and yes hair is important to some of us, so just let us see what you have going on.

3.       Many girls like a man who is good with kids, but please don’t post pics of you and kids (yes, even if they are your niece or nephew).  This is an online dating site and kids online can be creepy.  We will find out if you are good with kids in due time, don’t post them.

4.       Stay away from animals. Yes, we know you might be an excellent fisherman, wrangle alligators or are the next dog whisperer.  We can find that out on a date.  You don’t need to put up every shot of every fish you ever caught.

5.       Tattoos – I’m all for tattoos, they can express your personality and individuality, but your profile picture does not need to be that of your latest and greatest ink.  Again, cover it with a nice shirt and let us find it on our own.

6.       Keep other girls out of the picture.  I have yet to figure out why a guy thinks this is a good idea?  If you are looking for a woman, then don’t post pictures of other women on your profile.  Yes, it may show you are sensitive, friendly, etc.  But take some advice, women are easily jealous.  No one wants to sign up to date a guy who is advertising his other girls, even if they are ‘just friends.’

7.       If you are completely lost and can’t come up with a photo, have a friend come over, go outside and snap a shot.  It will show us who you really are, and please remember to wear a shirt!

Check out the size of his fish, just leaves me saying WHAT?