Labor Day...

As I sit making my deviled eggs and marinating my chicken for our Labor Day BBQ I reflect on my past work history.  It is no secret that a year ago I entered the world of “Consulting”.  You know “Consulting Land” it is the place between working full time with benefits and getting a new job working full time with benefits (some call it unemployment).  The difference for me is that I truly like Consulting Land.   I get to pick my clients, set my price, schedule my own work hours and spend a lot of time with my son.  

However surviving on the mean streets of Consulting Land you have to develop some thick skin.  You may put all of your time into updating your resume, picking out the perfect suit/jewelry/hairstyle combo, proofreading your proposal and manicuring your nails all to find out that there is no money in the budget, you are overqualified, under qualified, too female, too white, too young, and too old.   And you have to suck it up, move on and find the next gig that will be the perfect fit for you.

I think I am able to live happily in Consulting Land because of my past experience of looking for work. I’ve been working for over ½ my life – yes people my mom did not believe in child labor laws and my sister and I started at the ripe age of 13 bussing tables at the Diner.  We got paid under the table in cash so it was a win-win relationship.  Call me a capitalist, but I actually liked working.  Well I liked having cash in my wallet more than I liked the work.  So I cheerfully filled coffee cups, served up pie and smiled my way through my shifts. 

Currently I could use a bit more cash and I’m still pounding the proverbial pavement looking for work.  I get high praise and shut down in equal amounts.  My skin is growing thicker and I’ve fined tuned my presentation skills over the year.  I also have learned to up my standards and not take any job that jumps at me.  Here are a few of my top interview Duh moments:

Me to Lt. Governor of Unnamed State while interviewing:  “Yes Sir, I have a lot of experience, I look forward to doing blah, blah, blah”

Lt. Governor to Me:  “Look Dana, I know your husband, I know he makes enough money.  Why don’t you just stay home and have babies.  You don’t need to work.”

Me to Lt. Governor: Nothing! I was speechless! 

Me to prospective Client:  “Yes, I’ve worked with U.S. Presidents, U.S. Senators, Diplomats, well known actors, NFL Athletes, National Charities and successfully raised millions of dollars…”

Prospective Client to my Current Client: “But, how does she act around men?”

Me to Myself:  “What the Hell!?  Is he looking for an escort or a fundraiser? I think I want to kick him in the balls – that’s how I act around men you gross old man!”

Me:  “Sir, I treat everyone with respect and dignity no matter if they are male/female, wealthy or poor”

Me to Myself: “Jerk!”

Me to prospective employer’s Receptionist:  “I’m here to speak with the manager about applying for a position”

Receptionist:  “She is way too busy to handle that right now.  She is on a conference call, the assistant manager called out and two other girls are sick today.  She has no time for you.”

Me to Receptionist: “It sounds like now is the perfect time to hire someone.  I’ve worked here before and can fill in immediately if you need me.”

Receptionist:  “I’m sorry you will need to come back next week to talk to her - try Tuesday or Wednesday.”

National Vice President of a HUGE Non Profit:  “Dana I really like you and your energy, but I think you think outside of the box too much.”

Me to myself:  “What the hell!? Is this 1984?  What kind of company is this?”

Me to Vice President:   “You may be correct; I am a forward thinker and like to create new and innovative ways to accomplish a goal.”

So with that, I am still looking for something that fits perfectly allows me to think outside the box, interact with people and just generally enjoy life!