That's some funny Sh*t

I’m funny. 

I can’t say I’m funny in a stand-up comedian kind of way.   I’m funny more in the “What the hell keeps happening to me!?!” kind of way.  Let’s just say that funny just kind of finds me and then I am able to re-tell the tale.   I tend to always have a funny story to share over the office Keurig.  (Ok, we are a modern office and don’t have a water cooler, so no need to use the water cooler reference)  And at happy hour I am sure to come up with some sort of loony tale of something that happened during my day that will have my friends giggling in their Pinot Grigio.  I am never short on stories for small talk and can usually hold my own in a conversation.

Until one weekend at work…  I happened to be working an event where Seth Rogen was spending three days with us.  Since I am always a professional I just went about my business, doing my job and being appropriately social.   Meanwhile inside I was dying to get a few minutes with Seth. I mean- that guy is FUNNY (with a capital F).  I am not a script writer and I didn’t have anything to pitch him, but I still wanted to at least have more of a conversation with him than small talk about our chicken kabobs.

The last party of the weekend was winding down and I was bone tired (Not sure what that really means, but if it means so tired your bones actually hurt – well I was).  I was slowly making my way to the hotel elevator when who do I see waiting for an elevator but Seth and his wife?   Since there was a long wait for the elevator I grabbed a few waters from the Hotel Concierge and shared with the Rogens.  We chatted about college life (the fact that Seth didn’t go to college) and how movies reflect colleges.  This was my moment!  I went to college, I had funny things happen.  I quickly racked my brain.  I shared my funniest memory of college that I swear should be in a movie. 

Set the scene:  A Southern Sorority House, quiet spring morning, just before the first class would start about 7:15 a.m.  Everyone in the house is sound asleep, except the one sister who is studiously dedicated to her business major.  Her petite frame is loaded down with books.  She carries a banana and a cup of coffee in her hand.

Action:  The girl opens the big wooden door of the house, hands full and not really looking at where she is going.  She steps directly into an open Port-O-Potty and screams!   Suddenly the entire house of girls is up and wondering what the sound (and the smell) is coming from the foyer.  Chaos ensued.

Yep, friends, this is a true story.  Some of the members of our neighboring Fraternity decided it would be a funny prank to put a Port-O-Potty on our front door step with its door open so that whoever left our house would walk directly into the smelly hut. 

So, anyway I was able to relay my little scene for Seth on our elevator ride to our hotel rooms.  As he was getting off the elevator he looked at me and said “Wow, you are funny, and that is some funny  Sh*t.”

I definitely appreciated the compliment. (And if you ever see a scene like that in a movie, you can thank me for the inspirational story)

Sisters For Life

The other night I stopped by my old Sorority house while I was in town on business.  I wanted to see the renovations and get a quick glimpse at what has been happening at the house, it has been 15 years since I pledged.  I didn’t realize the girls were having a meeting and getting ready for recruitment of their new class of sisters.  I was invited to impart some quick words of wisdom on the girls.

I walked into the room and sat in the back, trying to blend (but, really who am I kidding?! I’m 33 and wearing business clothes, they are 19 and 20 and wearing cute tanks – but I digress).   I sat in the back and took in the room.  I saw beautiful faces paying attention to the girl who, I am assuming, is a graduating senior.  I saw a few girls whispering to each other and few more exchanges silly faces.  All in all I saw the faces of my sisters.  The girl who was standing was reading a story about sisterhood and what it meant to her.   Eerily (or maybe because I’m emotional) this girl looked JUST like Emily who read a very similar story when I was rushing.  They could have been twins! (Ok, maybe not, but the story, the room, the memories, it brought me right back to listening to Emily’s story and her reading a Maya Angelou poem in the formal in 1997).

Filled with lots of memories and even more emotion, it was my turn to speak to the girls.  No pressure right!?

I started by giving them a pep talk about how unique they are.  I encouraged them to spend the next week finding out what makes their house different compared to all of the other houses on campus.  Every sorority has a formal, hay ride and cute dates at the date functions.  I urged the girls to figure out what makes their sisterhood unique.  To seek new members that fit the sisterhood, not the events.  My brain quickly turned to lazy Sunday mornings sitting in the TV room surrounded by sisters debating which one of us was going to have to drive to Publix to pick up the sub order.  These days my Sundays are generally spent sipping coffee, watching morning TV and checking Facebook to see where my sisters are and what they are up to on their Sunday with their families.   My emotional self then turned to memories of getting ready for a night out, of fighting for a spot in front of the Hall Mirror and borrowing the curling iron, flat iron and even at times the crimping iron.  Silly as it sounds; I told the girls how much I missed those nights getting ready with 40 or so other girls. 

The girl who spoke before me talked about how she just knew her sisters were going to be there for her forever – she referenced her graduation and her wedding.  Yes sister, they will be there for your wedding.  But more than being a bridesmaid your sisters will be there for when you lose your first job and are afraid to tell your parents, when you have your first fight with your mother in law and you have no idea how to tell your husband, when you decide that your boyfriend, roommate, job, family, kids, and friends are all too much and you just can’t take it anymore – your sisters will be there for you in those times when you are growing up, grieving, and just plain dealing with life.

My colleagues once asked me why I stay in touch so much with my sorority sisters?  My answer was – they are the people who I can be me around.  Just me.  No explaining, no pretending, no makeup, no brand names, no titles and no meetings.   Sisters are the people in your life who met you, loved you and continue to love you no matter what. 

I didn’t have the time to explain all of this to the girls last night.  Honestly, I didn’t want to burst their bubbles.  They are full of hopes and dreams and to them the most important times ahead are formal and hayride and even a wedding.  I trust that they will pick the most amazing sisters to join their chapter this year, and I know that they will have the most spectacular school year ahead.

More importantly, I know that when they come back 15 years after they pledge they will have the best sisters and friends a girl could ever ask for.

A little laundry on the table...

 

I remember the first few weeks of being home with my little man after he was born. To say I was tired was an understatement. I had a little man depending on me for everything and I was stressed. I also was a newly wed, new homeowner and new at being a stay at home mom.   My 'To Do" list was pretty big and I was getting overwhelmed.

During my pregnancy and 'nesting' phase I was a super woman. I baked, I swept our floors twice a day, I gardened, I cooked, I folded laundry, I was the perfect wife and housekeeper. Once my little man came into the picture I tried hard to maintain the standards I had set earlier. Except for one small problem - I couldn't do it.

My day revolved around feeding and nap times. Sure I could put a load of laundry in, but the chances of me remembering it was in there were pretty slim. I could probably whip up something for lunch, but the dishes? They would just have to wait a day or two (ok, maybe a week!) I was very lucky to have my mom stay with me for a few weeks and then my sister for some time after that. They were able to make sure the dog got walked and fed and that there was food in the house. They reminded me about apointments and helped me through crazy diaper changing moments.

Once they left I was alone and stunned. I remember talking to my grandmother and venting about the troubles of being a new mother. She pointed out to me that leaving a load of laundry unfolded or dishes in the sink were no big deal. (She has six kids so she knows what she is doing in the mother department!) She told me what really mattered was that my son was healthy and happy, that I was healthy and happy and that I should just order some take out and get sleep.

So, with that advice I did.  And I still follow that advice today. I will never be the perfect housekeeper. Maybe one day when I'm an empty nester I'll enjoy sweeping the floors and baking again, and my laundry will be ironed and folded. Until then, I have sticky floors, clothes piled in my room, a dog that needs a bath.

 But what else do I have? I have some awesome memories with my little man.  I still take naps with him and choose to curl up reading books on rainy days instead of cleaning. I might delay a project or two so I can get to the school party and cheer him on at little league.  No, I don't cook very often and yes we know all of the best kids' meals in town, we maintain our date night and our one on one time is our special time.

So cheers to sticky floors, unfolded laundry and dishes in the sink! I love my Grandmom for her advice and think of her when I see laundry on my dining room table.

Things change but yet stay the same...





Roomates with the Little Men in our lives





This past weekend I took my little man on a road trip to see my Sorority Sisters in Orlando.  As I was driving the long trek up the Turnpike and Jamming out to “The Best of Kidz Bop” – yes there is a Best of Edition- I got to reminiscing.

My mind wandered off to the days of road trips to Key West, cheap tequila, staying out to sunrise and scarfing down McDonald’s everyday because we could and we wouldn’t gain a pound.  To visiting each other in our first apartments, so proud of the fabulous furniture we found at Goodwill and something on clearance at IKEA.  We knew all of the best 2 for 1 happy hours in our neighborhoods because that was all we could afford.  And if we really liked the guy we were dating, when friends came to visit we would make the new man take us all out on the town. 

 We got together for weddings and wore the requisite bridesmaid dresses, smiled through the bridesmaid teas, pedicures, and pictures.  We paid for each other’s shots on our bachelorette parties, kept secrets about each other’s new husbands, and promised each other married life would be fantastic.  As we started having babies, we rallied again for the baby showers and family get together; we upgraded our drinks to champagne and sparkling wines for our preggo friends.  We started exchanging recipes and talked about shopping for houses. 

As I’m exiting off the I-4 with my little man in the back seat talking to be about Shamu and Sea World. I welcome myself back to reality.  

I am dropping him off with some of the most important people in my life. My roommate married a great guy and they have a terrific family.  Her husband is the kind of guy that when I roll into town, hand over my little man and run out the door with his wife; he understands just how important our time together is.  No, we are not going to hop in a car and head to Key West.  We are racing out the door to visit with another sorority sister.  We look forward to these days for months.  There were days when we all lived in our house, took our time together for granted, spent our meals talking about classes, boys, books, and TV shows.  But now we are far apart and our time together is limited by bed time and a babysitter. 

Tonight as we try new microbrews things are still the same.  We still laugh and cause a scene at the restaurant, we still buy the happy hour specials, we still talk about classes, boys and books.  However, we are discussing Kindergarten, what level reader our kids are on, how much TV is ok for a 5 year old.  And of course we talk about the Happy Meal toys at McDonald’s.

Key West 2000

AXO 75th Reunion

Sisters and a few legacies...We have known each other since 1997!