Hamsters, Dogs and Frogs

“Mom I need a hamster” my little says as he sits down next to me.  “Buddy, you have a dog.  We aren’t getting any more animals” I remind him. “Yes, but Mom, my dog doesn’t DO anything” he says back.  Cliffy, our 9 year old half St. Bernard half Mastiff is basically a lazy lap dog trapped in the body of giant puppy. 

“Watch this mom” my little guy tosses the tennis ball in Cliffy’s direction and all Cliffy does is raise one eyebrow in a look that might as well say “You think I’m getting up to chase that thing?!!?!”. 

“See Mom!  My dog doesn’t DO anything” my little man huffs.

Good point, little man. I do realize that we have the laziest dog on the planet and he isn’t much for a game of fetch but I refuse to allow a hamster into my home.  Sure they are all cute and cuddly at first but in reality it is a rodent and I say NO WAY to rodents.

“Buddy, you have two frogs” I remind him.  (Side note: Thanks to my crazy sister I am now the very much stressed out owner of two African Water Frogs.  My sister thought they were the cutest Christmas present ever and just had to gift them to my little man.  Well, two years later I am still worrying about Max and Ruby, our water frogs.  Know what is harder than finding a dog sitter? Finding a FROG Sitter – I digress)

“Yes, but Mom I really want a hamster, something I can play with and love and teach tricks to.” My son is nothing if not persistent. 

“Little Man, you can play with Gogo and PopPop’s dogs when you want” I try the distraction method.

“No Mom, I really want my very own pet to play with.” “Little Man, you are just going to have to wait until you are older for me to get you a live animal to play with” I think the discussion is over.

A few minutes of thinking later, my little man comes back… “Fine Mom, I will get a fish.”  

“Buddy, how the heck are you going to play with a fish?” I ask. 

“Well, it blows bubbles and I can watch it.”

If life were only that easy…

No women really like showers.

Truth: No women really like showers. 

No, I am not talking about hot steamy with your man showers, we ALL like those. And I am not talking about the daily ritual of cleaning yourself showers, we all need those.  I’m speaking about the kind you have in the middle of a perfectly decent Saturday afternoon, they usually follow the words “baby” or “wedding”.  Dear Lord, all women DREAD those showers.

I have to be honest, well it is my blog, and honesty IS my policy, but I hate showers!  I have planned them, attended them and even been the guest of honor at them.  I still just can’t get excited about them. 

First of all, I have no idea why men aren’t invited and properly guilted into attending?  Why is it assumed that women are the only ones that want to spend their day with their friend, watching her open presents, discussing the intricate details of either the wedding cake or the best breast pump? I am sure some men would love to sit around and chat it up about things like colors for the flowers and whether the new parents should use a diaper genie or cloth diapers.

The second thing I don’t really get about showers is why the planners insist on them being at the most awkward time in the middle of the weekend?  Don’t we all have busy lives and save up all of our errands and family things for Saturday or Sunday?  Where was it written that showers must be in the middle of the day and last for hours?  Why don’t we have a happy hour shower?  Or a dinner party shower? 

Lately I have noticed (thanks to Facebook) that people are going all over the top crazy with their shower themes.  It used to be that you got a little card in the mail with the fill in the blank…
“Let’s all shower with love:_________.  On_____ at ____.  ____ is registered at_____”  easy invite. 

Not much fuss.  You knew the decorations were probably going to be either white for a wedding and pink or blue for a baby.   I blame Pinterest for the invasion of shower party planner craziness.  Now invites arrive in handmade boxes with ribbons, guests are encouraged to dress a part, and everything is themed and matched just perfectly for the special day.   As a party planning fan, I am all in favor of creativity and a good theme.  I am just a bit scared to see what the first birthday party will be like if the baby shower is already over the top!

Finally, my last reason I don’t care for showers is the whole “watch the person open the present thing”.  It is awkward.  No matter what end you are participating in it is weird.  When my family and friends threw me a surprise baby shower I was so grateful for the wonderful people who came to wish us well with the new baby.  But, the hard part was feigning excitement when you are opening your 30^th box of new born diapers, or getting hand washable nipple guards. (Yes, they exist)  More uncomfortable is being the gift giver and sitting patiently through the bride or new mom opening one present after the other, reading the card out loud, passing it around and the oooing and aweing over each little sock, picture frame and teething ring. 

I am not going to put down all showers.  Sometimes they are great way to catch up with old friends and family you only see on the shower/wedding/funeral circuit.  Also they can be great learning environments - you never know when someone may need you to make a wedding gown out of toilet paper or a bouquet out of old ribbons!