How Mr. Shape Ups got some action...

“I’m not dating guys I’m attracted to anymore” my friend Lynn told me.  What?! I asked.  “Yes” she said.  She proceeded to tell me her new theory on dating.  She is a beautiful, talented young woman – a bit of spunk with some tattoos and a creative side.  She had been attracted to the young, mysteriously handsome guy with a dark edge.  She figured out the problem with her type of guy was two-fold – they tended to be broke and they tended to by shady.   Her new theory was:  date guys she didn’t want to sleep with.

At first I thought she was completely nuts!  Why would anyone want to go out with someone they weren’t attracted to?  She told me that in truth she was attracted to the guys –eventually.  She bypassed the muscular guy with the tattoos and dated the guy in ShapeUps and a good job.  (Yes, her date showed up wearing Shape Ups!)  But she looked past is quirky dorkiness and found out that he was really funny and smart and they clicked on a different level.  She decided to open up her options and date older guys (like 15 years older), short guys, smart guys and so on.

Unbeknownst to Lynn,  I also had recently been opening up my ideas of dating.  I  looked back at my dating life and realized I was kind of in a rut.  I tended to the tall, somewhat dangerous looking young guy.  Have goatee and a tattoo? Wear a baseball cap and flip flops? No job?  I’m yours!  Realizing that my “type” wasn’t getting my anywhere I opened up my options to the universe.  (Ok, I sucked it up and went back to online dating – sorry people, but WHERE am I going to meet a guy in South Florida!?!)

My search requirements used to be: 6 foot 3 inches (A psychic told my mom once my true love is 6 foot 3), Tattoos, no kids and between the ages of 30 and 35.  In South Florida you will get 1,092 results all with pictures of tan Ken dolls at the beach - easy on the eyes, bad for commitment.

My new search requirements were broader. I began looking for sincerity, stable job, family, etc.  I looked at age now as just a number.  I started seeing pictures of guys in suits and ties and fewer and fewer self- photos of guys in the gym.  I opened my mind up more and started seeing different colors, races,religions, professions and so on. 

There is something to be said to opening up your mind in the dating universe and going beyond what you are initially visually physically attracted to.  I am not saying that I have found my Mr. Ever After.  However, I have experienced new things, been treated like a lady, been wined and dined, and have made some great friends and memories.  I figure I have the rest of my life to meet Mr. Right.  For now I am enjoying the search….

 … Oh and my friend Lynn?  Turns out Mr. Shape Ups can really turn her on in the bedroom too J