In this day of text messages, IMs, Facebook status updates and casual hookups, the line between being in a serious relationship and just dating can get blurred very easily.
I have found that most of the time one person tends to push the "relationship fast forward button" as soon as the other makes contact.
Guy - “What are you drinking?”
Girl - “Corona” What she REALLY thinks is “He cares! He’s genuine! He’ll be a provider. I bet he has a great job, fantastic! I’ll quit my job, we will have five kids, maybe a house at the beach, retire early, babysit our grandkids together…”
Guy - How many Coronas until I can take her home tonight?
Here are a few of my top relationship status confusions… Again ALL of these are true, either happened to me or my friends, someone just needed to say DUH! you two are NOT on the same page.
The Toothbrush
Girl – He bought me a toothbrush to keep at his place. I know this is the first step to commitment! Next he will ask me to move in.
Guy – I bought her a toothbrush so she will stop using mine and I won’t have to deal with her morning breath.
Woman’s Best Friend?
Girl to Guy after sex – “I really wish we could have more nights like this together”
Guy to Girl – “You have that vibrator – you’ll be fine”
The Text message:
Text from Guy to Girl - “How is your day going?”
Girl’s Thoughts – He cares about me! He misses me! He wants to spend his day with me! He needs me! He knows I’m the perfect girl! Maybe we are going out tonight? Maybe he’s taking me away for the weekend?
Guy’s Thoughts – I’m bored at work and texted my entire contact list to see what they were up to.
The Facebook Picture Tag or Status Update:
Girl - Took a cute picture and tagged guy in facebook photo or in Status Update
Guy - Shit! She thinks we are in a relationship. Now the whole world will know that I was with her on Friday night. How do I delete this tag?
Meet the Parents
Girl – “My parents are coming into town, want to have dinner?”
Guy – She is serious about this! I’m meeting the parents. Next step, I’ll need to get a ring. I don’t know if I can handle the pressure!?!?!
Girl – I thought you’d like a free meal…
He likes French Toast
Guy – Drank too much and ended up spending the night
Girl- He spent the night! I’ll find out what he wants for breakfast, I’ll show him I’m a good cook. He’ll spend every night over here. We are on our way to moving in.
Guy – “ I’ll take French Toast” (as fast as possible please) and then make my escape.
Girl – He likes French Toast! I love French Toast! We both love French Toast! We are perfect together! This relationship is meant to be!
I am not Dr. Ruth and I really have no idea how to find the perfect mate. But I can offer a few words of advice I gleaned from my guy friends over the years on how to keep things in perspective. When I am about to go off of the deep end into happily ever after, I follow these few rules:
- Talk about your status. Talking is the only way you will figure out what is going on. If you are on the same page all is good. Are you just hooking up? Looking to be married? Tell the other person! Honesty is the best policy.
- Take this test my friend suggested: Were you both drunk? Were you both horny? If either or both are yes, then more than likely it is just sex. No more, no less, just sex. Don’t make it more than it was and don’t expect a phone call the next day.
- Don’t let them spend the night/don’t spend the night. Get out of there before the sun comes up! If you are not in the mood for a relationship, don’t start the morning snuggling and certainly don’t share your eggs Benedict.
how do you become a "follower"? I like french toast BTW!
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