You had me at Khaki….

Let’s be honest – a good man is hard to find.  Or maybe it’s more like “a good man who has a job, has a house, owns a car, likes kids, has goals, like his parents and isn’t a convict is hard to find?”

There is no way around it, dating is a pain in the butt.  However, what might be worse than dating is finding the right guy to go on a date with?  My girlfriends and I consistently debate this issue, and recently this article http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704409004576146321725889448.html“Where Have The Good Men Gone?”  in the Wall Street Journal hit upon some of our points.  In the article Kay S. Hymowitz argues that too many men in their 20s are living in a new kind of extended adolescence.  I recommend you check it out.  May I also suggest that the author should have extended the age to men living in their 30’s?

Living in South Florida creates a challenge that we don’t seem to have in other parts of the Country.  Let me explain, when I lived and worked in Washington D.C. all of the single men were driven and goal oriented.  Sure, they may have had menial jobs in their 20’s but they had goals, most were attending law or graduate school or working their way up the ladder of success.  A lot were eager to change the world and had jobs that affected public policy and social change.  Everywhere you turned you could find a date that had a job and a goal.  I know friends who have experienced the same thing in Philly, New York, Boston and so on.

For some reason in South Florida men with goals are a bit harder to find.  For the past five years I’ve run into all sorts of men, professionals, unemployed, lawyers, computer nerds and so on.  I have to tell you that goal oriented, driven men are few and far between. Maybe it is the sunshine, or the thrill of the beach and the water so nearby that causes men here to relax and just be happy with the status quo?  The other problem I’ve found in South Florida is that many people are transplants or just biding their time at the beach until it is time for them to grow up and move back home, up north, out west and so on.  While these guys are fun to date the knowledge that they are not staying tends to dampen the relationship and leads it to fizzle out. 

Not to put all of the blame on the guys in South Florida, I will admit that I may be a bit unusual J  I have a sort of strange job - I raise money for Political Candidates and Non profits including Professional Athletes.  I have to attend a lot of events and often converse with millionaires, social activists and famous people.  I am smart and like to talk about subjects that make a difference in the world.  Sure, I’ll talk about Football and drink a beer with you but I also need a bit more mental stimulation. 

A while back I was out with some girls and was introduced to a guy.  We had similar backgrounds, a few work friends in common and hit it off.  We decided to go on a date.  Turns out I had a work event to go to.  The last few guys I’d dated would have said no way to attending, or put up a giant fight if they had to mix and mingle.  When I approached the subject with this guy his response? “Do I wear a suit or khakis?”  I think my heart skipped a beat!  We were on to something.   He had me at Khaki…

Author’s note: Let me be clear, I have a TON of friends who are the perfect guy and they live in South Florida, they just aren’t the perfect guy for me.  I am not man bashing just telling it like it is for me.