A little communication can go a long way....

This blog is no stranger to my rants about online dating, I’ve been there done that and don’t need to buy the t-shirt.  I have officially given up the online world of looking for a date.  I am not knocking the experience as I know far too many people who have found their happily ever after online.  However, I have realized a few things during this process (Ok I have learned A LOT but it can’t all fit into one bloggity blog). 

One thing I learned is about myself.  I realized that I am a communicator.  Yep – it took me three years and a lot of weirdo relationships to figure that out.  I could have glanced down at the business card holder on my desk – it says “Director of Communication” underneath my name, or I could have glanced at my diploma “BS College of Communication” or looked at my PTA Volunteer role “Public Relations”. But oh well! It took me a lot of late night text messages, weirdo emails and a few left voicemails to figure out that I am a communicator.

What does communication have to do with online dating you ask?  Well in my humble scientific method skills I have hypothesized that those who post online do so because they lack the ability to communicate in person.  (Pretty good theory right?!?)  I am not saying that everyone who online dates can’t speak, more like they tend to be the type of person who is happy to check in and out of a relationship with a quick email.  As if a quick “Hey” via a text or email qualifies as a solid communication and shall progress your relationship status quite nicely.

I am here to declare that a ‘How r u?’ text message does not count as communicating while trying to get to know someone. Yes, it is a good start, but if you send that message you better be prepared for my answer, then you should wittily respond something back that shows you actually READ the text and that you have something to offer in return.

Over and over again I get the “Hey, watz up” text… Really?  Then maybe a day or two later a “how u been?”  Or, my favorite… “I’m bzy, call u ltr”  Guys – here is a clue.  IF you actually want to see a girl, pick up the phone and call her.  Say hello, ask a question, listen for a response, pretend you heard her and say something nice back.  It is very easy to start communicating and it may lead to something more, like a date!

I am not man bashing here, I am sure there are plenty of girls out there who are just as comfortable with the random text messages and one line emails that progress a relationship along.  I am simply not one of them.

So, from now on, no more online dating sites for me.  No more replies to 3 word text messages.  No more sending emails listing in paragraph form my thoughts on life only to get a response like “sounds good”.  I am declaring loud and clear that I am a communicator and that I need communication in return.

As far as finding a date? I’m not really sure how that will happen, but I’m thinking I should start looking into people who have “Communication” in their job title…..

My favorite place

A few weeks ago my little man and I were watching a cheesy Steve Martin movie. One of the ones where he has ten kids, is busy working, mom is busy working and inevitably they lose one of their brood.  The family runs around their neighborhood, calls the police and is panic stricken.  Then the youngest of the 10 remembers where the missing kid’s favorite place is (his old house) and Steve Martin saves the day, rescuing the kid and quitting his job all in an emotional montage.

Well, after watching this movie my little man looked at me and assured me that I have nothing to worry about because he didn’t have a favorite place and he would never run away.  I changed the perspective and assured him that our home was his favorite place and therefor he had no need to run to anywhere else.  I fell asleep that night really proud of my awesome parenting skills – high five for the mommy!

The next morning as I was getting ready for work my little man came rushing to me with a serious look on his face. 

“Mom” he said, “I figured it out!”

Figured it out?  It's 6:30 a.m. what are we figuring out so aearly? I haven't even had my coffee yet!  

“Ok” I say, “tell me what you figured out”. 

He says “My favorite place! I remembered where my favorite place is. (He hesitates, trying hard to remember the name) It is where Paw Paw lives. (He hesitates more, still thinking)  You know where it’s cold? Morgan and my cousins are there?”

 I say “Baton Rouge?”

 He jumps up and down in agreement.  “Yep! – that’s it, that’s my favorite place!”

  I say “Ok, so if you run away, I need to go to Baton Rouge to find you?”

 “Yes” he happily says.  Then he hesitates and looks at me, “but Mom, I need a cell phone and Paw Paw’s phone number because I have no idea how to get there.”

Ok, I think.  I am still lucky he won’t be running away for a bit longer as Baton Rouge is a bit far. But if he does attempt it, then at least I know where to start looking.  As for getting him his own phone?  NOT going to happen little man…