Where did all of the FUN go?

"Woo Hoo!"

I hear as my little man goes careening down the street as fast as his little legs can peddle with no hands on his handle bars.  My heart starts pounding as I watch what inevitably will become yet another trip to the emergency room.  I yell out to him “Stop!” “Slow down!” but today he chooses to ignore me and keeps on peddling.

Emergency averted, he is growing up and can handle himself this time.

A few minutes later as I catch up to him slowly peddling my beach cruiser he asks me “Mom, when did you become no fun?” 

Good question little man – I have been asking myself that a lot lately.

Recently, I’ve been back on the dating scene and a common question I get is “what do you do for fun?”  Why is this question so hard for me to answer? I mean I think I have fun? My friends and I laugh a lot and I have a good time doing whatever it is I’m doing, but what makes me ‘fun’?  I think I might have unknowingly crossed a certain threshold where “Fun” doesn’t exist and responsibility, practicality and parenthood took over.

Maybe I am now just valuing my responsibilities more in my 30’s than I did in my 20’s?  Gone are the nights of happy hours starting at 5 and ending at midnight three or four nights a week.  Now, happy hour is every other week, starting at 6:30 and home by 9:00.  Let’s face it, my friends and I now have jobs with responsibilities and can’t leave work at 5:00, nor can we leave our work at the ‘office’, we are now working before, during and after happy hour.

My friends and I still enjoy a good concert, sporting event and special event.  However, these days we drink 1 glass of beer with two waters and order fruit and pretzels at the concession stand.  We have personal trainers to meet in the morning and little men and women to get off to school before the sun comes up.

Our road trips are still very fun and full of laughter, but these days we plan months in advance, use our frequent flier miles to book our hotels and eat at sit down restaurants instead of at the fast food drive thru. So, maybe our “fun” met up with aging and maturity and became a bit more responsible? 

I think I need to invent my new definition of “Fun”.  Fun to me is seeing my little man experience new things, accomplish something he didn’t think he could and just being there for him.  Fun is laughing out loud with my girlfriends over a good bottle of wine and helping each other solve our dilemmas – whether they are marriage, dating, or work related.  Fun is a night at Bingo getting to know the local senior citizens and hearing their stories about their past winnings.  Fun is sealing a deal at work and accomplishing a goal.  There is no question that “Fun” for me involves memories, laughter and friends.  Too bad I’m not able to relay this to my little man with a quick answer on our bike ride.

I guess I’ll just have to show him that his mom is “Fun” by riding fast down the road without holding on to my handle bars!

Where have all the good bloggity blogs gone?

Ok, I confess to being lazy about my blog.  I am honestly not lazy – I am far from it.  I’ve been busy working. I’m working on work projects, working on friend’s projects, working as a volunteer at my son’s school, working as a volunteer for other groups and even working on the weekends as a waitress.  (Christmas is around the corner folks- gotta save up!)

So my free time, or what is left of it, is pretty much eaten up with being a mom, trying to maintain some sort of a social life and my sanity.

Plus, I realized that putting everything out here on my blog is pretty much crazy.  I’ve had a few friends (ok, all of them male) ask why I would want to share my thoughts with the online world?  I answered; better out than in.  Of course I want to share, I’m a girl, and I share.  Sharing is caring folks. 

Recently I’ve entered back into the dating scene.  (No, I won’t discuss any current activities on here, too much pressure and too personal)  Anyway, I mentioned to not one, but two different guys that they should read my blog. I mean, come on, it is like a “How to Guide to Date Dana” on here, it’s their very own cheat sheet.  Their responses?  Both said that it would take all of the fun out of getting to know me.  They didn’t want a cheat sheet and were ready to tackle the dating game without any clues. 

Ok, gentlemen – game on!  I’ll put a hiatus to my blogging about myself and we will see what will happen. 

(and bloggity blog followers – I’ll keep you posted!)

Ways to get (and keep) a Girl's Heart

I love this photo!  It is a LIST and it has some good advice.  I have a few more of my own  to add:
13. Kiss her forehead
14. Tell your friends about her and how much you like her (in her presence gets bonus points!)
15  Smile when she walks in the room
16.  Encourage her, become her biggest fan
17.  Cook for her
18.  Eat whatever she cooks and pretend you like it
19.  Tell her she is beautiful, especially on days when she's worked really hard and is really tired
20.  Tell her she is smart
21  Surprise her with little gifts and things she likes
22  Don't send flowers - get more creative and show her you went the extra step
23   Like her family and enjoy spending time with them
24.  Be yourself

A little laundry on the table...

 

I remember the first few weeks of being home with my little man after he was born. To say I was tired was an understatement. I had a little man depending on me for everything and I was stressed. I also was a newly wed, new homeowner and new at being a stay at home mom.   My 'To Do" list was pretty big and I was getting overwhelmed.

During my pregnancy and 'nesting' phase I was a super woman. I baked, I swept our floors twice a day, I gardened, I cooked, I folded laundry, I was the perfect wife and housekeeper. Once my little man came into the picture I tried hard to maintain the standards I had set earlier. Except for one small problem - I couldn't do it.

My day revolved around feeding and nap times. Sure I could put a load of laundry in, but the chances of me remembering it was in there were pretty slim. I could probably whip up something for lunch, but the dishes? They would just have to wait a day or two (ok, maybe a week!) I was very lucky to have my mom stay with me for a few weeks and then my sister for some time after that. They were able to make sure the dog got walked and fed and that there was food in the house. They reminded me about apointments and helped me through crazy diaper changing moments.

Once they left I was alone and stunned. I remember talking to my grandmother and venting about the troubles of being a new mother. She pointed out to me that leaving a load of laundry unfolded or dishes in the sink were no big deal. (She has six kids so she knows what she is doing in the mother department!) She told me what really mattered was that my son was healthy and happy, that I was healthy and happy and that I should just order some take out and get sleep.

So, with that advice I did.  And I still follow that advice today. I will never be the perfect housekeeper. Maybe one day when I'm an empty nester I'll enjoy sweeping the floors and baking again, and my laundry will be ironed and folded. Until then, I have sticky floors, clothes piled in my room, a dog that needs a bath.

 But what else do I have? I have some awesome memories with my little man.  I still take naps with him and choose to curl up reading books on rainy days instead of cleaning. I might delay a project or two so I can get to the school party and cheer him on at little league.  No, I don't cook very often and yes we know all of the best kids' meals in town, we maintain our date night and our one on one time is our special time.

So cheers to sticky floors, unfolded laundry and dishes in the sink! I love my Grandmom for her advice and think of her when I see laundry on my dining room table.

Thank the Lord I'm Single...

There is no denying it, being divorced or single sometimes really sucks.  It just does.  There are certain days of the year that are harder than others.  There are the obvious days likes Valentine’s, Christmas and the worry about the New Year’s Eve kiss.  Days that include reunions, couples’ nights out and weddings tend to be rather hard.  There are also less known days that tug at your heart strings like your child’s first day of school, first home run, first date, etc. that can really bug the single mom.  But with all of the “wish you were here” moments there are plenty more of “thank the LORD I’m single moments.”

A few of my favorite moments are below.  Please feel free to share and add your thoughts. I am sure this list can grow and grow.

1.        Being able find your stuff because you put it somewhere and no one else is there to move it.  You can always find your keys, favorite sweatshirt and the paperwork you need.

2.       Being able to eat your favorite Halloween candy from the kid’s bags and not having to share with anyone else.

3.       Being able to use ALL of the closets in your house for your stuff.  You don’t need to share the space and your clothing doesn’t need to get wrinkled because it is cramped in between suits and baseball equipment.

4.       Finding the toilet seat down.

5.       Knowing when it is the last of the toilet paper, toothpaste, bath soap and so one because you were the only one to use it.

6.       Putting leftovers in the refrigerator and knowing they will be there in the a.m.

7.       Being able to dedicate the extra closet in the guest room to your shoe collection (or whatever collection you may have)

8.       Any day you don’t have to deal with In Laws, and if they call, you DON’T have to answer the phone, cause hey! their child isn’t there anymore

9.       Seeing your ex dressed in any kind of strange, mismatched outfit and knowing you don’t have to sit next to him, or even pretend that you know him.

10.   When your child does something bad at school, having the ability to say he learned it at “The Other House”

11.   When your child wakes up in the morning and you are the first person they run to with a big hug and kiss.

12.   Being able to make a decision because it is was YOU want and not what someone else wants.

13.   Buying whatever you want when you want and knowing you don’t need to tell anyone about the cost of it.

14.   Being able to stock your house with your food and drink of choice, no compromising necessary.

15.   Knowing you only have to go to one family’s festivities for any given holiday.

16.   Being the one your child turns to when they fall down, feel sad or just need a hug.

17.   Being able to do whatever you want when you want with whomever you want.